Dusty.

A photo story to celebrate the season of shadow, of the Other Side & a wish that you too find a the lantern for the path into darkness.

I had my hair done for a competition by stylist Travis Battaglia. I remember this shoot with my ex-girlfriend Katrina. We were both miserable, stressed out and in our independent mind-states of anxiety. Probably also hangry. We pushed through anyways, this was when I had that photography studio in North Van. I was learning studio lighting and found the results captivating so we went and shot this, AFTER a full afternoon shoot for the hair competition, and I’m glad we did it. It’s one of my favourite self-directed shoots in my portfolio.

I think it captures how I was feeling in my body at this time very well. There is the juxtaposed contrast between struggle & power. Maybe I can just see it because I lived it. But I identified as non-binary at the time. I was at war in many ways with my physical body. Anxiety, depression, self doubt, dysphoria…I guess I would have found acceptance at the time had I worked through some of these things with a professional but I was fiercely independent, have always been, and independent in a fearful way. The whole ‘universe is against me,’ paranoia which is, I think, not spoken about even these days as much as it could be.

Happy Samhain everyone. To my Witch Sisters in the darkness…may you rot perfectly this Fall and settle into something safe, warm & dark until we meet again in the Spring time. Birthing again the world.

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